I recently had a client – we’ll call her Lynnette – who identified this strong message from her childhood:

“Don’t mess up.”

Lynnette’s upbringing gave her lots of reasons “why” she couldn’t “mess up.” She was a girl. She came from a family who strongly valued formal education but whose previous generations didn’t have the financial means to get much of one. She grew up in a poor town, where the jobs were low-wage, and related to tobacco or poultry production.

In Lynn’s world, the message “Don’t mess up” was part motivation: “Work as hard as you can! Be the best you can.” It was also part threat: “Mess up, and you’ll end up working in a dead-end job the rest of your life.”

“Don’t mess up” propelled Lynn to excel in school, and helped her win scholarships for a Bachelors and MBA. At work, she was known for her attention to detail and her willingness to work endless hours.

As a highly successful executive, though, Lynette found that “Don’t mess up” had outlived its usefulness. Each time she had to make a business presentation, she obsessed over what could go wrong, to the point where she could make herself sick. She was earning a reputation as a judgmental and angry work partner, because she took other people’s mistakes personally.

“Don’t mess up!” was really getting in Lynnette’s way.

Just like it’s getting in yours now, I’d bet.

Harness the Energy Around You!

Your subconscious is a faithful servant. If you tell it, “Don’t mess up!” it will do its best to help you. But that causes its own problems:

> Your subconscious can’t discern negatives. It has to form the picture of what “messing up” looks like, and then add a next step, “don’t do THAT.” Meanwhile it has the picture of “THAT” firmly in mind. So no wonder you’re obsessing about messing up: that’s the image your brain is delivering to you!

> When your brain is looking for things NOT to do, access to the creative parts of your brain are really limited. And that makes sense: only the tried and true “safe” stuff comes to mind (literally) because anything outside the box could become a mess. And a mess is exactly what your subconscious is trying to avoid.

> Without the freedom to make a mistake, you can’t explore new options without seriously endangering the way you see your self, your success, and your place in the world. To a person whose self-worth is tied up with “Don’t mess up,” – that kind of risk can be seen by the subconscious as literally life-threatening.

“Don’t mess up” isn’t the useful motivator it’s cracked up to be, is it?

Here are a few ways to begin to shift your subconscious away from “Don’t mess up!” thinking. They are based, in large measure, in the principals of Be Set Free Fast^SM.

Talk to your subconscious. Tell it that:

> “Don’t mess up” does not equal “don’t make mistakes.” Mistakes can be how we learn something new.

> “Don’t mess up” does not mean you have to be perfect. It’s okay to learn new things – new techniques, new languages, new anything – and stumble along the way.

> There are many different ways of being “perfect” – including being who you are, the way you are, in this moment.

> “Don’t mess up” does not mean you get to beat up on yourself for your mistakes.

> You will be fine, no matter what happens. You don’t need that promotion, that applause, that perfect ten, that hat trick to be fine.

> You want all “don’t mess up” energy (or whatever your equivalent is) to be replaced with “I wonder how I could be even more…” energy. As in more happy, more effective, more efficient, more direct - more more more of the quality you hoped “don’t mess up” might deliver to you.

> Forgive yourself for letting “Don’t mess up” get out of control in your life. Let that be over and in the past.

Upgrade the energy of “don’t mess up” into something that really works for you now! Like Lynnette, you’ll find yourself with lots more of the qualities and experiences you’ve been wanting all along.